Elephants: We Need You.
My favorite video to share in workshops and training sessions is less than five minutes long but almost impossible to forget. The video, Understanding Trauma: Learning Brain vs. Survival Brain, features Dr. Jacob Hamm, a clinical psychologist, and is used to train teachers on how to support students who have experienced trauma. While it sounds like it was intended for educators who work with K-12 students, I have found this video has resonated with every group I train, including corporate and non-profit workplaces. Take a few minutes (I promise, just a few!) to give it a watch, and I think you’ll see why.
To be able to be and stay in the “Learning Brain,” we need to feel safe. For traumatized people, children and adults, seemingly minor stressors can be perceived as very real threats, and feeling safe to be creative and make mistakes can seem out of reach. Dr. Hamm reminds the audience that all of us need to feel safe to be able to access curiosity, and that just like a baby elephant in the wild, the only way we can really learn is to be surrounded by people- or mama elephants- who encircle us with care, support, and safety.
All of us can go into survival brain when we feel threatened. Many of us—organizations and individuals—have been constantly feeling under threat lately. We may also carry the cumulative toll of our own trauma histories and the trauma exposure that those working in fields such as mental health and domestic violence experience. The work that we do in social movements, like the movement to end domestic and sexual violence, feels increasingly urgent and, at times, increasingly impossible.
The survival brain sends us a lot of messages. In workplaces, I see people stuck in survival brain believing messages such as, “It’s all on me.” “If I mess up, everything will fall apart.” “No one cares as much as me.” I see organizations also trapped in survival brain when everything is treated as life or death, and relationship building is skipped over in meetings because there’s too much important work to do and not enough time, resources, or people to do it. Many of us are feeling afraid, we are grieving, we are consistently hyper-vigilant, and constantly safety planning. Amazing work is still getting done- people are answering crisis lines, showing up at court with survivors, leading workshops in the community, and organizing for social change. And many people are suffering. The urgency and importance of our work are real, and we need to be sustainable to do it for as long and as well as we hope to be doing it.
We need our mama elephants. Our survival brain may try to convince us that the need is too great to show up for each other—we must run to the next task because many important tasks are waiting behind it. We find ourselves splintering from one another when we need each other the most. Organizations are struggling with morale and retention, and employees are burning out but staying because they are terrified of losing their jobs.
Being stuck in a survival state can make us forget how much we need each other and how much we can gain from one another. We can overprioritize results and sacrifice relationships, forgetting that relationships make sustainable and impactful results possible. When we show up for someone else, it doesn’t just benefit them—we benefit as well. I’m honored to work with amazing organizations and individuals and create opportunities for them to feel heard, seen, and supported. I hope these interactions allow employees to feel less isolated and more connected. While I can’t fix every challenge they face, I’m inspired by learning from their wisdom and energized by the opportunity to brainstorm and test out strategies and solutions together. Even the most challenging conversations leave me grateful to be trusted to listen and honored to share space with people dedicated to strengthening their organizations, communities, and beyond.
We must be innovative and creative to navigate the relentless storms we are currently weathering; more dark clouds are ahead. We need safety to be curious and forge new paths forward. We need our mama elephants- we need each other. As the African Proverb reminds us, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
If you or your organization would benefit from additional support, strategic thinking, and compassionate accountability, JTC is here to help you move forward- stronger, connected, and sustainable.
